I’m off to Iowa for my first tournament of the summer and I’m excited. I crushed a month of training down here and I’m proud of myself. I got frustrated with tiny parts here and there, but I’ve improved so much. My tennis game will never be the same.

I had a beer with Horacio tonight (the first drink I’ve had in weeks) and enjoyed it.

I’m just grateful to work with him. Initially, I assumed I would work with him for a few weeks and I would never see him again. I never expected that he’d take interest in my career and in me, as a person.

It felt like a soldier being sent off to war when I said bye to my fitness coach, Caco. He said something that I’m still thinking about. He took me by surprise by speaking very sternly. He had two quotes:

“You have to win yourself”

“You’re not truly a professional until you have to win, so you’re able to eat later that day.”

The first quote is broken english, but it made sense when he explained it. I’m battling myself on the court too. I’m already facing my opponent across the net. Why would I add an additional one in my head?

The second quote is very powerful, but I’m not sure why he told me this though. At the moment, I’m very lucky to be helped financially by my family, but that won’t last forever. Soon, I’ll have to win, or go home. Win, or take over the country club tennis scene and start hustling people. He was trying to get me in the right mentality, I believe. This is now my job. I’m investing so much time and money into this passion, and it’s not only just a interest of mine. It’s an opportunity to make money. It’s an opportunity to be self-sufficient and do this for a living. And that really motivated me. I looked at it in a different light in terms of how I am competing on court.

I feel an extra surge of energy when I think about the upcoming matches. An extra reason for being animalistic on court.