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giving myself credit

tough parts of my lifestyle:

  • I face failure literally every week and keep a positive attitude for your next match
  • it’s lonely. it’s obvious that tennis is a lonely sport (no teammates and no coach on court) and it’s also lonely off. I have my coach which helps a lot, but I’m not able to make close friends. Friends that I’d see regularly if I was in some sort of club living in a big city.
  • physically exhausting work. The days in between tournaments are tough. Grinding in the sun for hours and working in the gym. I really don’t always enjoy it. Some days I’m fed up. I feel like I’ve taken 3 steps backwards over night. And it can just be so frustrating.

I read a lot of articles that say to focus on the positives, but I had an urge to list the tough parts to recognize and understand their influence.

I feel like I don’t give myself enough credit for what I’m doing. I could get a job and move into a city whenever I want (and part of me is honestly really excited for that). But I’ll always have that. It’s important to ride this wave until it has nowhere else to take me.

Sometimes I ask myself why I feel frustrated, lonely, or uninterested. I’m feeling these feelings because of what I’m doing.  I forget to look at the characteristics of my lifestyle. I’m playing in tournaments that have the highest level I’ve ever seen and it’s physically/mentally exhausted. Plus, I miss out on things that I like that I can’t necessarily do right now- hang with friends, take classes, make a salary and become self-sufficient. I have to remind myself that experiencing these things is ok, and they come with the job I signed up for. There’s plenty of positives that I forget about a lot of the time.

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